The Pages

Today Ryder had a neurologist appointment. The Appointment was a "downer" appointment for us, but we are still keeping our hopes high for him. As of 2 weeks ago we barely found out that the cerebral palsy was official...and that it was only mild. Mild meaning that it would be so minor with therapy that you wouoldnt notice he had it unless I told you what to look for. But today that diagnosis changed. As soon as his Dr met with us, she asked many random questions....that lead to her being pretty definite on him having moderate CP. Moderate means it will be noticable to others around him. I found out so much information on his risks of things, and what he has. Forgive me because I can't remember it all!!

First she def noticed his stiffness on his right side. She then asked to look at his brain scans to see where in the brain the damage was done, and how bad it was. Well that kind of determined alot of his diagnosis she was about to give him. The part in his brain that is severely damaged from the blood on the brain at birth ( due to prematurity) affects his right side....which causes the stiffness (aka CP). I'll try to explain...Your spine naturally is stiff, it stiffens all your muscles and body....but your brain is supposed to calm the spine down...kind of like the brain says ' ok spine chill out, relax!" but Ryder's brain is damaged in that spot...so his brain and spine/ right side muscles arn't comunicating as they should. She was going to give him medicine for stiffness, but couldnt cuz it makes the trunk area ( upper body) floppy, or weak, but then she realized he was already extremely floppy and weak. The medicine would cause him to be non-functionable at all in upper body...so we cant give him that yet! but as he's older they may give him botox shots that loosen his muscles. But she did say from here on out his stiffness will get worse each day....even w therapy, but therapy will help a little still :)
Now another thing mentioned or explained to me was more about his right side and CP...she used some medical word that I dont remember...I just remember her explanation. That, in a way his right side is paralized (sp?) but its kind of spastic. So he has spastic CP, mixed with another weird form of CP. With therapy though this can improve.
The Scars on his brain from the resolved water on the brain are so bad! So it's just a matter of time before he starts having seizures. But that doesnt worry me...cause it wont cause anymore brain damage then what he has...as long as they stay under 2 minutes.
As of right now this risk I'm about to tell you doesn't look like he has, but its a risk...mental retardation... He doesnt show signs though! thank goodness! but time will tell.
He will be ADHD...hyper! due to prematurity...and missing the whole last trimester!
Theres more, but I cant remember!
But what does this all mean???? she said he can simply use crutches and a brace, he can even be in a wheelchair... the best in leg braces, but walk with stiffness. He'll be slow in speech....the brain connecting to actually getting out the word will be difficult for him. He will possibly be slower to learn, or even mentally handicapped, or maybe nothing to noticable...but once again only time can tell.
It's def hard on Greg and I, esp today! But we are holding up, cause we know that with us and his therapists and Drs...aka "Ryder's team", we are his only hope. We will work with him and his brain, and body and try to create good habits. This therapy will be a lifetime of therapy...because as soon as he stops theray he regresses. But thats okay...we can handle this. The Dr told us he will have big set backs but to keep positive....that we can do it! and we will.

I remember the day in the NICU we found out about the risks and CP, I cried and cried, thinking of these children in wheelchairs, or with walkers....and thought no not RYDER! so we prayed and prayed he wouldnt have it...others prayed, fasted....but still he has it. Which confirms to me that Heavenly Father has a plan for this lil' angel....and part of that plan is him being special needs. But already this precious boy has touched several lives, given faith to many, but know that we know its part of his plan God has for him. I'm sure he knew his struggles he would face, before coming to earth. But he's been blessed with an amazing spirit and personality to get thru it. We love Ryder and will always be by his side to carry him thru these hard trials! haha probaly literally at times...but thanks for everything! and Thanks to all the prayers.

(sorry for typos! there was so much to type! and I'm to tired to check it all!)